Each week the Mentor Patch Moms Council answers a question on parenthood posed to them by readers or another member of council.
This week's query: This week's question springboards from last week's question, where you were asked how much praise is too much?
Kids -- teens, especially -- live in a high-pressure world. They are often told that the decisions they make today will impact their entire future.
In the same breath, parents realize their kids cannot succeed at everything. In fact, never experiencing failure may actually stunt their problem-solving skills. So how do you teach a child to accept failure without inadvertently teaching them to accept mediocrity?
Devone Lansing:
I don't have teens yet, but I've tried to teach my kids from the very beginning that life isn't always fair.
I don't want them to go into life thinking that they will always be Number One in everything, or that other people will treat them as such. That will just lead to heartache and disappointment as they get older.
I tell them to try and do their best. If they fail and they want something badly enough, they should try again.
Melanie Majikas:
That's a tough question for me, because I have one child for whom things come very easily, and she rarely experiences any sort of failure; and one child for whom things are a bit more difficult.
I actually am more concerned about the one who never has to struggle for anything. I think it's important to learn that you can fail and bounce back. But the other part of it is that when things come easily to you, it can also lead to not taking risks or trying new things, because you are comfortable with being successful with what you are already doing.
I do try to encourage her to get into situations that push her a little out of her comfort zone. While I don't wish that she would fail at anything, I do wish that she would have the experience of having to try a little harder.
My other child, on the other hand, does work harder for what she has, and has experienced more "failure," or at the very least, not getting the outcome she hoped for.
So far, it has made her realize that trying was the important part, and she's very philosophical about the experiences and knows that she can always try again.
