Police release mom's ex after questioning in baby's shooting - Detroit Free Press

Police in Roseville are still investigating the drive-by shooting of a 10-month-old baby today.

Investigators interviewed and released a 27-year-old former boyfriend of the baby?s mother today and the investigation continues, Deputy Chief James P. Berlin said in a release today without elaborating. The man is not the father of the 10-month-old, but he and the child?s mother are involved in a contentious paternity suit over another child, their 2 ?-year-old daughter, Berlin said.

The man has not been charged in the shooting.

Berlin said the man turned himself in ?claiming the intense media scrutiny has made him persona non grata at his usual hangouts and he wishes to clear his name.? The meeting took place for ?several hours? before he was released by police, Berlin added.

The baby and the baby's mother were sleeping on the living room couch of their Roseville home and the former couple?s daughter was asleep in her bed in another room at 11 p.m. Saturday when multiple rounds from a high-caliber handgun blasted through the front picture window.

The baby was rushed to an area hospital, where he was in critical condition but expected to survive, according to police. No one else was injured.

Berlin said today the baby suffered a ?glancing? wound to the forehead.

?He was really very, very lucky,? Berlin said. ?He was hit in the forehead, and it burrowed under the skin and exited the side, but did not penetrate the skull.?

Medical personnel were concerned with swelling near the baby?s eye, Berlin said.

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Jurors deliberate fate of "Angry Mom" from Dr. Phil show - WSAU

By Yereth Rosen

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Reuters) - Jurors began deliberations on Monday in the child-abuse trial of an Alaska mother seen forcing her adopted Russian-born son to swallow hot sauce during an "Angry Moms" episode of the "Dr. Phil" show.

Jessica Beagley was charged with misdemeanor child abuse, punishable by up to two years in jail, after homemade video of her discipline methods aired on the popular daytime television series, sparking a furor in the United States and Russia.

Outraged viewers alerted authorities to the footage, which also showed Beagley, 36, forcing the sobbing 7-year-old boy to stand in a cold shower while she yelled at him.

The hot sauce and cold shower were said to be imposed as punishment for the boy's misbehavior at school.

Municipal prosecutor Cynthia Franklin, in closing arguments, said Beagley staged an extreme punishment that she knew would be ineffective to win a spot on the nationally syndicated show hosted by psychologist Phil McGraw.

Beagley may not be a bad mother or a habitual child abuser, Franklin said, but the particular incidents shown in the videotape amounted to criminal abuse.

"Jessica Beagley wanted to be on TV, and she made a videotape that the show required in order for her to get on TV," Franklin said. "There is no reason in this world why someone would have to hurt a child to get on a reality show."

The case has attracted attention in Russia, where there is growing concern about adopted children from that country facing abuse in the United States. Russian news reporters have covering the Anchorage trial, which started last week.

Defense attorney William Ingaldson said Beagley's harsh punishment methods, which he said she has since abandoned, and her willingness to subject herself to public ridicule in order to obtain advice from Dr. Phil, grew out of desperation.

She and her husband had struggled with the boy, who was adopted at age 5 along with his twin brother from an orphanage in Magadan, Russia, Ingaldson said.

Both boys have since been diagnosed with an emotional disorder stemming from their difficult early years in Russia and are now in long-term therapy, the defense lawyer said.

While the punishment methods broadcast on "Dr. Phil" may be controversial and upsetting to some, they do not rise to the level of a crime, Ingaldson told jurors.

"It's not child abuse. It's not an offense to punish someone because people on a jury say they would do it differently," he said.

(Editing by Steve Gorman and Cynthia Johnston)

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Ariz. mom's efforts service fast food play areas - Houston Chronicle

PHOENIX (AP) — Her outrage against a local fast-food restaurant's unsanitary play area has turned into a national crusade for Chandler resident Erin Carr Jordan.

The mother of four, an Arizona State University instructor with a Ph.D. in developmental psychology, included filth-swabbing and bacteria-testing across six states in her summer-vacation travels.

Between family visits to museums and scenic attractions, she probed fast-food sites in California, Colorado, New Mexico, Illinois, Minnesota and Wisconsin, then had samples tested by microbiology labs and reported her findings to local health agencies and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

What Carr Jordan learned when she returned to Arizona earlier this month was that her cross-country samples contained frightening pathogens that can cause diarrhea, skin infections and meningitis. And the reaction of regulatory agencies in Arizona and the other states was disappointing. "It has been really disconcerting because I can't make them do anything. Nobody seems to be paying attention," she said. "They all say the same thing: 'Our hands are tied.' "

Most told her they had no jurisdiction and play areas aren't regulated by local food-handling and restaurant cleanliness rules. Lola Russell, spokeswoman for the CDC in Atlanta, said the federal agency has no authority over local health inspections and would step in only if a state or county asked it to or if there was a disease outbreak.

Now, Carr Jordan is on a mission to toughen government oversight of restaurant playgrounds nationwide. She contacted media in her travels, and her story has appeared in several newspapers.

Her campaign started a few months ago when she was so disgusted by the condition of a Tempe McDonald's PlayPlace she visited with her children that she crawled inside the colorful tunnels to film the grime, spent about $700 having it tested by a lab and posted her experience on YouTube. "Inside I saw filth and grime coupled with clumps of dirt, matted hair and rotting food. ... The entire structure was riddled with swear words and gang signs," she said.

She complained and notified the manager, but when the play area was still dirty days later, she collected samples of the grime and paid to have them tested by a local laboratory. She was told they contained pathogens found in fecal material and mucus as well as in hair and food and that they can could skin infections and abscesses.

At the time, a McDonald's spokesman said steps were being taken to make sure the Tempe restaurant's play area was clean but declined to provide details.

Maricopa County Environmental Services inspects restaurants for health-code compliance, which includes a visual inspection of indoor playgrounds, said Johnny Dilone, spokesman for the department. However, playgrounds must only appear clean to pass the inspection, and a dirty one is considered a minor "non-food" violation.

Charles Gerba, a University of Arizona professor with a Ph.D. in microbiology, doesn't know Carr Jordan but said it was well-known among experts in his field that children's playgrounds are one of the most germ-plagued environments and the pathogens can cause disease. Indoor playgrounds that tend to be warm and moist promote bacterial growth.

"If I had a small child, I'd be hesitant to let them play in there," he said.

Gerba, who co-authored a study of bacteria on public surfaces for the International Journal of Environmental Health Research, agrees that more stringent government health regulations governing cleanliness of restaurant playgrounds would help.

___

Information from: The Arizona Republic, http://www.azcentral.com

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Utah missing mom's journal pages promised in fight - KNDO/KNDU

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) - The father of a Utah mother who has been missing for two years says he will fight the release of pages from her diary.

But the family of her husband Josh Powell, who is under a cloud of suspicion in Susan Cox Powell's disappearance, said the pages show she had tried to commit suicide as a teen and could have walked away from her family, as they suspect.

In a journal entry about the incident, a document which The Associated Press couldn't independently verify, Susan wrote that she was repeatedly being asked if she had been trying to kill herself after taking some headache pills. The journal entry reads: "No!!!"

The debate comes days after authorities searched a sprawling network of abandoned mines outside Ely, Nev., but didn't reveal any new evidence.

Chuck Cox, Susan's father, and Steve Powell, Josh's father, argued loudly in front of reporters and television cameras in Puyallup, Wash., on Saturday. The families are scheduled to meet in court Tuesday, with Josh Powell requesting a restraining order against Cox.

Copyright 2011 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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Son indicted in mom's killing - SunHerald.com

JACKSON COUNTY -- A Jackson County grand jury has indicted an Ocean Springs man on a murder charge in the 2010 beating and stabbing death of his mother.

John Reed Armstrong, 48, is tentatively set to go to trial next week in the killing of Joan McCorkindale Armstrong at her Ocean Springs condominium.

The 80-year-old Armstrong had served as a volunteer at Ocean Springs Hospital, the Walter Anderson Museum of Art, The Lord is My Help soup kitchen and Art Who. She also provided volunteer home care for invalids and served as a lay Eucharist at St. John’s Episcopal Church of Ocean Springs.

Police took the younger Armstrong, who suffers from a mental illness, into custody shortly after friends called to say they’d stopped by Joan Armstrong’s home at Gulf Oaks Condominiums on Front Beach and her son answered the door covered in blood in the early evening hours of Aug. 7, 2010.

Police said Joan Armstrong had been beaten in the head with a brick and stabbed. She was dead at the scene when police arrived there.

Police had gone to Armstrong’s home earlier the same day in response to another 911 report, and Joan Armstrong told police her son was schizophrenic and hadn’t taken his medicine in about a month. She said he was claiming someone had stolen his clothes from his backpack, though no one had.

Joan Armstrong intervened earlier in the day, reports showed, telling police her son always claimed his clothes had been stolen when he came to stay with her. Police asked Armstrong if she wanted them to call paramedics to take her son to the hospital, reports said, but she told them she would take him to the hospital.

But that never happened.

As the officers were leaving, they said John Armstrong walked outside once more and showed them two empty backpacks. His mother reiterated, the police report said, he always did this.

When police returned later in the day, they found Joan Armstrong dead inside her condominium.

Murder is a felony punishable by a maximum sentence of life.

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Lynden man bought home with mom's savings meant for her care - Bellingham Herald

LYNDEN - Kenneth Dwayne Rogers bought a beautiful new house in Lynden, spent thousands on remodeling and landscaping and even bought his wife a three-stone diamond ring.

He did it all with money that should have been used to care for his elderly mother after he was given power of attorney with control over her finances - more than $400,000.

Once he'd burned through all her savings, he went to the state asking for assistance with her care.

Rogers, 58, is now in jail and was forced to pay back more than $494,000 he took from 80-year-old Mildred Rogers.

"There is no question that he didn't fulfill his obligation, number one, as a son and second, as power of attorney," Whatcom County Prosecuting Attorney Dave McEachran said. "Using her money and then trying to turn her over to the state, that was reprehensible."

It all started in March 2006, when Rogers got power of attorney after his mother's Bonney Lake home was condemned, according to court records. The next month he moved his mother and adult disabled brother into a Bellingham apartment. He got $105,000 from the sale of her property and $300,000 from his mother's savings. His mother also received $700 per month in social security.

Within months of getting control of her money, Rogers used it to buy a $540,000 home in Lynden, thousands of dollars in furniture and a ring worth more than $7,700.

"None of that was for the interest of the mom," the prosecutor said.

Bellingham Police began investigating Rogers in September 2009, after Mildred Rogers got a pay or vacate notice from her apartment management when he had failed to pay her $925 monthly rent. That same month, he had gone to Adult Protective Services asking for state assistance, representing that he had been spending his own money on his mother and could no longer afford to do so.

A Bellingham detective met with Mildred Rogers and her adult disabled son and said the two lived a frugal life, with no expenses other than rent, food, cable, phone and some utilities. The detective estimated the amount spent on the two since April 2006 at about $40,000.

When the detective spoke with Kenneth Dwayne Rogers about his mother on Sept. 23, 2009, he admitted that he invested in a new home for himself and his family in Lynden in June 2006 and spent all of his mother's money remodeling, painting, landscaping, adding a barn and buying new appliances. He bought the house for about $540,000 and said that he had intended to sell it for about $900,000, but the real estate crash had dashed his plans.

A credit report indicated that Rogers refinanced a home loan for $417,000 in April 2009 and got a second mortgage two months later for $40,000. He also got loans to buy two cars that added up to about $35,000 that month.

When interviewed by the detective, Rogers said an elder law attorney and an accountant had both told him to set up a trust with his mother's money, but he decided not to because he thought he could do better with it.

Rogers told the detective that he didn't put his mother in a care facility when he moved her to Whatcom County because he didn't want the state to get that money. The detective reminded him that it was his mother's money, intended for her care. He consistently argued that it was his right as having power of attorney to use his mother's money the way he thought best.

He said he compensated himself what he felt was reasonable for taking care of her, but he wouldn't say how much he took for compensation.

A person with power of attorney is supposed to make decisions and use money for the other's best interest, and that was clearly not the case here, McEachran said, noting all of the personal luxuries Rogers spent his mother's money on.

A forensic accountant went over Kenneth Rogers' bank records and found that two months after getting power of attorney, he used nearly $30,000 of his mother's money to pay off a loan and two credit cards in his and his wife's names. Here are some other expenses, according to court records, that came from his joint account with his mother that were not connected to her care:

• On May 16, 2006, he paid nearly $4,700 to a moving company to move himself and his family into their new home in Lynden.

• On May 26, 2006, he paid more than $1,000 for a vacuum cleaner.

• Between June 19 and Aug. 17 2006, he spent nearly $8,700 on furniture for his home.

• On July 31, 2006, he spent more than $7,700 for a three-stone diamond ring.

• On Aug. 24, 2007, he paid $3,500 to a dentist for braces, with another nearly $1,200 check to a dentist for services on his wife, Linda Rogers.

• On Aug. 29, 2007, he paid nearly $1,400 to a sport shop for a pistol.

• On Sept. 26, 2007, he paid more than $9,900 to Lynden Christian Schools.

• On May 21, 2008, he used $3,000 to put a deposit on a $16,000 hot tub.

• On Oct. 24, 2008, he paid more than $1,800 for a water pump system for his home.

Rogers is no longer living off his mother's money. Earlier this month, he pleaded guilty to 10 counts of third-degree theft in Whatcom County Superior Court.

In exchange for him paying full restitution to his mother, his potential 10-year sentence was reduced to 120 days in jail.

"When we got this case we thought it was just outrageous that his mother and brother were treated the way they were," McEachran said. "The whole thing was based on getting the money back for the mom. We thought that was worth giving up some of the jail time we would have gotten."

Attorneys are setting up a trust fund for the mother's restitution money, so that she and her other son can be cared for properly.

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A Mom's Life: Can't get the kids to sleep? Develop a quiet routine - DesMoinesRegister.com

One of the first questions I ask new parents is: How is your baby sleeping?

Having had two challenging sleepers, I?m secretly hoping they?ll admit they?re part of the up-all-night club. I have to stifle a groan if they say their infant slept through the night at any point before the child was 6 months old.

I?m still up at least once a night with my second son who?s getting ready to turn 1 year old next month, and my 2-year-old is beginning to protest when we say it?s time for ?night-night.? Sleep is a frustrating state at my house.

My friend, who also has a tough sleeper, recently brought over her iPad and showed me a hilarious, and incredibly irreverent, adult storybook about sleepless children and narrated by an animated Samuel L. Jackson. Titled ?Go the F**k to Sleep,? the beautifully illustrated tale tells of animals and all the other kids from day care going to rest for the night, and scolding with mouth-puckering curses a child who wants another story, a stuffed bear, to go to the bathroom and a drink of water ? anything not to go to sleep.

I laughed wildly at the contrast of storybook illustrations and grown-up language, and felt a weight lifted that other parents dealing with restless kids also yearn to dole out a tongue-lashing when battling for bed.

So what is the best way to put children to bed without protest and tricks, and without raising mom?s and dad?s ire?

Parenting books and articles give a wide variety of advice, but one of the things they seem to agree on is that a bedtime routine is part of the recipe for success. Whether it?s a warm bath, brushing teeth and a story, or a special goodnight song and tucking in, experts say it?s worth the extra time to signal to your child that it?s time to sleep.

According to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., children balk at going to sleep because they don?t want to miss out on anything.

Their recommendation to ease the transition is to keep things quiet for about an hour before bedtime. That means putting away noisy games and toys and turning off the TV, computer and video games. They suggest dimming the lights and limiting the family to quiet activities including puzzles and books.

Other experts say you can also give your child ?warnings? to signal that it?s time to go to bed. Remind them at intervals that bedtime is approaching so that it?s not such a shock when you take them away from books or toys and put them in their bedroom. The warnings can be paired with something enjoyable such as changing into comfy pajamas or having a nighttime snack.

Every child is different. Some have challenging sleep patterns or simply take extra attention to feel secure at bedtime. Even the experts at Mayo note that getting kids quietly to bed and sleeping through the night is a worthy goal, but not a measure of parenting skills. I?ll definitely take that expert advice to heart.

And, while I won?t likely purchase a copy of Adam Mansbach?s storybook for exhausted parents, when I?m exasperated with bedtime I will find myself snickering every time I think of it.

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Celebrity Moms Love Max Daniel Designs - Babyrazzi

Celebrity moms are well known for wanting the best of the best when it comes to baby gear.  And celebrity moms like Jennifer Garner, Nicole Kidman, and Jennifer Lopez are crazy for these cozy and soft baby blankets from Max Daniel Designs.

The luxurious blankets are not only super soft and warm – but they are machine washable!  (always a HUGE plus in my book!)  One of the fun things about these amazing blankets – they come in ADULT sizes, too!  How cool is that?

The blankets are also reasonably priced compared to other “luxury” blankets.  You can purchase them at boutiques or right from the Max Daniel Designs site.

The Max Daniel Designs blankets are:

Come in many solid, traditional colors or a variety of fun animal prints

If you’re looking for a great gift for that mom-to-be or just a super soft and luxurious blanket for your baby or yourself – check out Max Daniel Designs!

Follow Max Daniel Designs on Twitter or Facebook!

Photos provided by Max Daniel Designs

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Moms: How to organize your computer files, desk clutter and more - Abington Mariner

Sometimes it can feel like life is all over the place. Work is a mess, home is a mess and your life just needs a good old-fashioned overhaul.

From keeping your space neater at work to getting those darn dinners cooked, we've culled some of our favorite tips from over the years and put them all together in one quick and easy cheat sheet.

You don't have to tackle everything at once, but sometimes it helps to see the top list of solutions listed in one place.

Controlling cyber clutter:          

1. Start using Dropbox. This fantastic Web-based storage system is the best backup-without-thinking-about-it solution we know of. Rather than saving everything to your desktop, Dropbox saves all of your files in "the cloud," which means you can access them from any computer, anywhere, using your user name and password. Just download the app, make Dropbox your main "virtual filing cabinet" (using any filing names and conventions you want) and you never have to think about backing up again. The program will automatically update and sync files between the cloud and your computer whenever it's online. So those vacation pictures you just uploaded to your computer –– yes, they're backed up, too. We've used it for years, love it and never lost a file.     

2. Adopt a systematic file-naming convention. The No. 1 virtual time-waster? Hunting for files you know you have but just can't seem to find. Pick a simple naming convention that you use on every file you create, from spreadsheets to Word documents. Nobody is judging your file names, so make them descriptions you'll know and understand. A format we love: "date created -- file name." But it doesn't matter what your system is as long as you do it consistently.     

3. Schedule regular digital clean-outs. Just like you schedule your time to clean the gutters, you need to set aside time to regularly clean out your files. Whether it's five minutes on Friday afternoons or 20 minutes once a month, weed through and delete folders and files that are past their prime. Rule of thumb: If you haven't opened it in a year, you don't need to keep it.          

Keeping your desk clutter-free:

1. Use a pen and notebook. This is the simplest and neatest way to keep track of to-dos, to-calls and other notes. We especially love the built-in delegation component to our Do&Delegate.list ($8.95) at http://getbuttonedup.com/our-products/all-products/dodelegate-list/, but really, a $1.99 composition notebook can be effective, too.     

2. Keep paper filing basic. What matters most is that you can quickly put your hands on the files you need. So keep your system simple, and use stacking files, as they are great for file people and pile people. Pick one day a week to file papers that are taking up valuable desk space. If you come across a paper that doesn't fit in an existing file folder, keep it in a "general" folder for a week. Once a month, take 15 minutes on a Friday afternoon and clean out your folders.     

3. Establish a cleanup routine. Sadly, cleaning the clutter on your desk is not a one-shot deal. The key to keeping it under control is to do one or two things to organize your office on a regular enough basis so you avoid the big ordeal of having to dig out from under a massive mess.          

Making weeknight meals:          

1. Fine-tune your knife skills. Find a community college, culinary school or even a local restaurant where you can sharpen your skills with a knife. It doesn't sound like much, but knowing how to wield a knife and properly chop can shave minutes off your prep time in the kitchen.     

2. Have some "Get Out of Cooking Free" dishes in the freezer. Whether the meeting ran late, you aren't feeling up to snuff or you simply don't want to break out the saute pan, there are going to be some days that you won't be able to cook. Plan ahead and make double portions of certain dishes, like lasagna, that freeze well.          

Putting yourself on your to-do list:          

1. Make it a judgment- and guilt-free zone. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you need lofty goals in order to set aside time for yourself. You don't always need to work toward something -- it just needs to be a time for you to recharge.     

2. Schedule it. Whether it's one hour a week or an afternoon on the weekends, make sure that you build it into your schedule. If you don't, you won't do it. It's that simple.     

3. Build your support system. Women are great at many things, but many women don't like to ask for help. Don't be afraid to ask others for assistance, whether it is watching the kids or providing emotional support. Get creative about asking for help. Starting a new diet? Ask your husband to shelve the family outings to the ice-cream parlor. Need someone to watch the kids while you try a new Pilates class? Switch off with a neighbor. You'll be surprised by how helpful people can be when you just ask.          

The writers are co-founders of Buttoned Up, a company dedicated to helping stressed women get organized. Send ideas and questions to yourlife@getbuttonedup.com. For more columns, go to scrippsnews.com.    

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MILITARY MOMS ABROAD TORN BETWEEN PAY AND FAMILY - American Reporter

by J.M. Sylvan
American Reporter Correspondent
New York, N.Y. Back to home page Printable version of this story

NEW YORK -- I hope your Thanksgiving was relaxing and delicious. The holidays can bring tension and grief with them in addition to joy and celebration, especially on military bases for military moms. Did you know that the Army grants six weeks of maternity leave for new mothers and gives four months before she can be sent into combat? This does not give them enough time to establish a good bond with their infants, nor the year to breast feed them suggested by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

This problem is widespread. Ten percent of the women in the military get pregnant each year and 75,000 children of military personnel are younger than 1!

Mothers are offered six weeks' pay six months after birth if they rejoin the forces. This is a huge incentive for the active-duty women who are earning $15,000 - $25,000 a year. Most have children when they are 20 -25 years of age. But everyone involved in these families pays a huge price for this military commitment.

The women tell me they enlisted to protect their country and to advance themselves. There are wonderful childcare programs that provide a stable environment, on the bases, but many of the children don't stay on the base once the mom is deployed. Some 230,000 children have parents stationed in Iraq, Afghanistan or the Horn of Africa (Somalia), areas are considered the most dangerous assignments.

It is a positive sign that there are plans for expanding military child care services, extending family leave after childbirth and increasing mental health services to help families before and after deployments.

I am glad to see that Michelle Obama has taken an interest in military families. Her attention needs to be drawn to these issues so that women in the military can get the support they really need to protect their children and families and to recover and guide them once their brutal warrior role is over.

War's true cost is the suffering of being in the war as well as the suffering of leaving your family behind and returning to them a very different person. I believe that the best way to do this is to stop invading countries and making the decision that women with children have no place downrange.

I stopped by the Army Museum on the base to talk with the director about how I could understand the modern warrior, especially the female soldier. He recommended the movie with Meg Ryan, "Courage Under Fire" as well as "Home of the Brave" with Samuel L Jackson and Jessica Biel. He also recommended I hear Iraq veterans read from their books at the powerHouse Book Arena in Brooklyn.

One evening, I heard Tyler E. Boudreau (Packing Inferno: The Unmaking of a Marine), Joshua Casteel (Letters from Abu Ghraib) and Brian Turner (Here Bullet) speak about their experiences. All three men, one a poet, another collecting his emails sent to friends and family, and the third tracing his 12-year career as a Marine, shared their personal accounts of loss of faith in their missions and the trauma that caused them great moral conflict. They are each powerful, honest writers in their own way.

Read them and draw your own conclusions. ~ ~ ~

Back "home" in Battery Park City, Manhattan, where I am living until early January, I attended a neighborhood meeting with New York City Police Commissioner Ray Kelly. He gave a PowerPoint presentation on what is being done to assure safety in this area next to the World Trade Center site. He admitted that since the WTC was targeted twice in the past that one would assume it would be targeted in the future. He explained that residents near the site would have to apply for trusted access" clearance. He told of a plan to have the NYPD patrol the PATH trains coming from New Jersey.

Up until this time the Port Authority police have been in charge of security, but residents of this small city-within-a-city reported that they would feel safer having the highly trained NYPD be in charge. The New York Police Department has been policing the subways and conducting random checks of bags and clothes for traces of explosives for quite some time.

Kelly described the lower Manhattan Security Initiative that is being put in place as a net of surveillance like London's Ring of Steel". The plan is to have 3,000 cameras monitoring pubic places surrounding the WTC area. He said 150 of those cameras are being used and monitored by 50 police officers right now. They monitor 1,000 license plates each day. Radiation detectors monitor bridges and tunnels in the area as well. They are ready for nuclear and biological attacks. Air sensors test for early indications of biological attack. He proudly explained that there is nothing like it in the world. I'm glad I went to the meeting to learn why there are often swarms of police cars with lights flashing gathering near the World Financial Center next to my hotel. Kelly reassured us that they were just conducting drills.

I left the meeting feeling less secure and more terrified. It will be a relief to get back to my home in California on January 4th.

It is very interesting to me that Osama Bin Laden wanted to cripple our financial center, while the people who were in charge of the center have crippled our economic power even more effectively. On 9/11 Osama sent people to bring down Wall Street firms and seven years later, the White House and friends finished the job by sweeping away the laws enacted decades before to protect us from a 1930's-like Depression. Deregulation and poor oversight finished the job.

Wall Street is where my neighbors work, for now it is my Main Street. Lower Manhattan is once again at the center of a worldwide storm. Everyone in the neighborhood is wondering what will happen next.

Our apartment house is in the middle of a remodel. Many of my neighbors have purchased condos here with the promise that the refurbishing would be done by Spring ?08. Now the halls are a mess of dry wall, the entryway is made of plywood and wires hang from the ceilings; people wonder if it will ever be completed. One fellow in the elevator told me that this happened to him once before, right after 9/11. He couldn't sell his condo in Tribeca for three years.

At that time, dust was everywhere and debris was taken away in huge trucks through the local streets. Once again he won't be able to sell his apartment and there are large trucks waiting for the dismantled apartment innards blocking our parking garage many mornings.

D?j? vu all over again?

I feel empathy for all the people I have talked to in NYC who feel trapped and frightened. I am so glad that I have had family and friends to visit with as I try to make sense of all this upheaval. Thanks to all of you for listening!

This is the first entry in a new column that will appear regularly in The American Reporter. The author holds a doctorate in education and works for the U.S. military.

Copyright 2011 Joe Shea The American Reporter. All Rights Reserved.

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Breast-Feeding: Tips For Working Moms - WYFF4.com

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If breast-feeding is so highly recommended by health care professionals, why don't more moms do it? Many moms find that continuing to breast-feed after they've returned to work is often highly inconvenient. For breast milk to continue to form, breast-feeding must take place in regular intervals. If moms are away from their infants for several hours at a time, they must pump instead. In fact, pumping must occur even more often than feedings -- it's recommended that working mothers pump every 2-3 hours. The milk can then be frozen and stored for future feedings. Lots of moms run into problems taking a break every few hours to pump -- and they face another quandary in finding an adequate location. Employers are becoming more and more accepting of breast-feeding moms who need to take time off to pump during the work day. Hundreds of companies provide "lactation programs" that include rooms to breast-feed or pump and break time in which to do it. Several states have legislation in place that requires employers to provide accommodations for breast-pumping or -feeding women. In some areas, that means employers must give women unpaid breaks every 2-3 hours, and some have to provide some type of location -- other than a bathroom stall -- in which women can pump their breasts. To see recent state-by-state legislation on breast-feeding, visit the site of the La Leche League, an international nonprofit support group for mothers who breast-feed. If you're a mom who wants to continue breast-feeding after returning to work: Distributed by Internet Broadcasting. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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Moms can text questions to Wood Co. experts - Daily Tribune

New or pregnant moms no longer will have to search the Internet for breast-feeding inquiries or ring up grandparents for bottle-feeding questions.

They'll be able to text their questions and concerns to the Wood County Health Department's new You and Your Baby Textline for help.

"It's a texting service where pregnant women, new moms or anyone with questions (about babies) can text to Wood County Health Department, and the staff will send them an answer to their question," said Leah Meidl, a public health nurse for the department.

The text line is one of the first services of its kind in the area and is just launching, Meidl said. Those who text questions to 36263 and include the word "BABY" in the message, will receive a response from a team of health professionals.

"We have a staff of six different people -- four nurses and two health educators," Meidl said. "And we're all on the parent-child health team."

For questions the department can't answer, they'll advise the sender to contact her child's physician or pediatrician.

"I think it's a great resource," said Amber France, 27, of Wisconsin Rapids.

France, a new mom of 5-month-old Odyn, said there are plenty of questions new moms have as they work their way through early parenting.

"There are some things like breast-feeding, with wanting to know if it was normal if he was nursing longer than usual or went longer periods without nursing," said France, who is a health educator at the department. "And of course, I had immunization questions."

The Wisconsin Women's, Infants and Children nutrition program, also known as WIC, has a similar texting hotline, but only people enrolled in that program can use it, France said.

When parents text the hotline, they'll receive an automatic response thanking them for their questions and letting them know that immediate concerns should be directed toward physicians.

"We're seeing an increased usage of texting, especially with the younger generation," Meidl said. "And we want to reach out to people and offer a new way for them to ask questions. Sometimes, a phone call is not as easy as sending a quick text message. Plus, it's anonymous, so they don't have to worry about feeling any judgment with their question."

Texts will be addressed Monday through Friday during the Health Department's regular business hours. Answers to weekend questions might take 24 to 72 hours.

The service is free, but usual text messaging rates apply. Element Mobile users might not receive a response because of a glitch in the company's system, Meidl said.

View the original article here

How Moms Use Smartphones for Health Info - eMarketer

As smartphone-toting moms become more familiar with their devices and application marketplaces, they are discovering and adopting new apps for both entertainment and utility. According to a study of moms who own a smartphone conducted by Mom Central Consulting, 51% percent have downloaded more than 16 apps to their smartphones as of March 2011.

Top app categories included social networking, games, entertainment and the weather. Other popular categories were music, news, lifestyle and health and fitness. Noteworthy for healthcare marketers, roughly half of the moms surveyed by Mom Central reported downloading health- and fitness-related apps.

New research from Women at NBCU complements some of Mom Central’s findings. Its April 2011 study, which looked at how women are adopting digital tools, indicated that women not only say they are more comfortable with technology than they were a year ago but they also are more active than men in mobile areas such as gaming and social networking. When breaking down the female demographic into moms vs nonmoms, the NBCU study showed that moms had more medical-related smartphone applications than nonmoms.

A BabyCenter study about how moms use smartphones for health and wellness also showed that moms index higher than the general population in most categories when it comes to smartphone activities, and health was no exception.

One in three moms used her smartphone for health purposes, compared to 22% of the general population. Further, a BabyCenter “Dr. Mom Study” conveyed that nine out of 10 moms who own smartphones used the devices to research health conditions. The majority of them also tracked information related to health and wellness.

Moms, often referred to in the medical community as a family’s Chief Health Officer, are increasingly using smartphones to manage their family’s health information. The BabyCenter study shows not only do moms want to use smartphones to manage and track health and wellness information, they also would like to use smartphones to track personal health components such as weight, exercise and calorie intake.

These findings indicate that the opportunity for healthcare marketers to reach moms through smartphone devices is ripe. Moms are embracing smartphones for a variety of activities and are using mobile resources such as apps to make their daily lives easier.

Keep your business ahead of the digital curve. Learn more about becoming an eMarketer Total Access client today.

Check out today’s other article, “Virtual Goods Purchases Rise for Certain Gamers.”

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Moms get crash course in Football 101 - Des Moines Register

Beth Stroud of Urbandale wasn't sure what she wanted to learn when she walked into the Johnston High School auditorium for the school's first Football Moms? Night in eight years. She only knew she wanted to walk out with the ability to know more about what she was looking at when she watched a game.

?For me, football games have always been a time for talking,? Stroud said with a laugh. ?I?ve learned that because of the friends I sit with and the positions their sons play, the best time to talk is when the defense is on the field.?

To Johnston head football coach Brian Woodley, the Aug. 11 event was about making sure moms and fans of Johnston football players left knowing more about the game than when they arrived.

?I did this when I first came to Johnston, and I thought it went over well,? said Woodley, whose team opened its season against Ottumwa on Friday. ?I always think it?s nice when moms can go home and impress their sons with what they've learned about the game. That's not to say that a lot of moms don't know much about football ? many of them do. But this is for the ones who maybe haven't been as involved with the game and would like to learn.?

About 40 moms, a couple of dads and a fan or two attended the event, which was advertised to parents of football players in elementary school through high school. It featured presentations by Woodley, assistant coaches Brian Lutter and Rod Wiebers, referee Jerry Kinder and trainer Melanie Mason.

Parent Diane Bridgewater, who helped organize the event, said she thought it would be a great way to help bring football parents together while ?giving people an excuse to learn a little something.?

?It's an effort sometimes for our kids not to roll their eyes when we ask dumb questions,? she said. ?I thought it might be a reason for less eye-rolling if we knew more about what we were talking about. I knew Coach Woodley had done this kind of thing years ago, and I thought, ?There's no reason we can't do that again.? ?

The attendees were given handouts on such things as hand signals, good nutrition for athletes and symptoms to watch for if a parent suspects his or her child has suffered a concussion.

The audience seemed to enjoy Kinder?s impromptu quiz on hand signals, with only a few moms shouting out correct answers.

?I?m giving you a lot to think about tonight, but if you remember one thing tonight, remember this: If you?re ever called upon to be a linesman and a hole opens up in front of you, get the hell out of the way,? the longtime referee and Johnston High School history teacher said.

Mason, who works for Iowa Health and is contracted to serve as a trainer for high schools and colleges, caused a stir among members of the crowd when she asked the mothers to raise their hands if their sons had suffered a concussion; many responded.

Mason said an effective way to help treat a concussion is to rest the brain by turning off electronic devices.

?I don?t make many friends among the athletes when I say that because lying there doing nothing can be pretty boring, but after a concussion, you want the brain to be quiet and bored,? she said.

Lutter, who also serves as director of strength and conditioning for the high school?s physical education department, stressed the importance of a balanced diet for young athletes. He focused on the importance of protein, telling the parents that not all proteins are equal in benefit.

?The general rule of thumb is that the more legs a protein has, the worse it is for you,? he said. ?It?s good when you can to choose turkey over hamburger, for example, and choose fish over turkey.?

He also said young athletes typically drink too many ?bad? calories, such as the ones found in sodas and some juice drinks, when beverages such as milk ? or even chocolate milk ? can give the body a healthy boost.

Wiebers, who teaches business at the high school, talked with the parents about the ins and outs of a good defense, while Woodley lectured on the finer points of an effective offense and called on Johnston High School freshman Carly Kinning to model the components of a football uniform.

The event concluded with three Johnston High School varsity cheerleaders performing some of their more familiar routines, such as the school fight song.

Woodley said he was pleased with the evening.

?This was a pretty good turnout for the first time in such a long time, and I'd like to do this again,? he said. ?The moms seem to be interested, and I think they had fun.?

Mikki Kinning of Des Moines, the mother of Johnston High School quarterback Michael Kinning, said even though she knows a fair amount about football, she thinks Football Moms? Night should turn into an annual event.

?I found that I didn't really know about all the different positions and what they do,? Kinning said. ?I imagine other people picked up on some different things, too. But mostly, it was a lot of fun just getting all the football moms together.?

View the original article here

Moms can text questions to Wood Co. experts

New or pregnant moms no longer will have to search the Internet for breast-feeding inquiries or ring up grandparents for bottle-feeding questions.

They'll be able to text their questions and concerns to the Wood County Health Department's new You and Your Baby Textline for help.

"It's a texting service where pregnant women, new moms or anyone with questions (about babies) can text to Wood County Health Department, and the staff will send them an answer to their question," said Leah Meidl, a public health nurse for the department.

The text line is one of the first services of its kind in the area and is just launching, Meidl said. Those who text questions to 36263 and include the word "BABY" in the message, will receive a response from a team of health professionals.

"We have a staff of six different people -- four nurses and two health educators," Meidl said. "And we're all on the parent-child health team."

For questions the department can't answer, they'll advise the sender to contact her child's physician or pediatrician.

"I think it's a great resource," said Amber France, 27, of Wisconsin Rapids.

France, a new mom of 5-month-old Odyn, said there are plenty of questions new moms have as they work their way through early parenting.

"There are some things like breast-feeding, with wanting to know if it was normal if he was nursing longer than usual or went longer periods without nursing," said France, who is a health educator at the department. "And of course, I had immunization questions."

The Wisconsin Women's, Infants and Children nutrition program, also known as WIC, has a similar texting hotline, but only people enrolled in that program can use it, France said.

When parents text the hotline, they'll receive an automatic response thanking them for their questions and letting them know that immediate concerns should be directed toward physicians.

"We're seeing an increased usage of texting, especially with the younger generation," Meidl said. "And we want to reach out to people and offer a new way for them to ask questions. Sometimes, a phone call is not as easy as sending a quick text message. Plus, it's anonymous, so they don't have to worry about feeling any judgment with their question."

Texts will be addressed Monday through Friday during the Health Department's regular business hours. Answers to weekend questions might take 24 to 72 hours.

The service is free, but usual text messaging rates apply. Element Mobile users might not receive a response because of a glitch in the company's system, Meidl said.

View the original article here

Moms' Depression Affects Kids' Brain Structure, Scans Show

FRIDAY, Aug. 19 (HealthDay News) -- Children of mothers with depression have an enlarged amygdala, the part of the brain associated with emotional responses, Canadian researchers have found.

The team used MRI scans to examine the brains of 10-year-old children of mothers who've had symptoms of depression throughout their lives.

The results suggest that children's brains are sensitive to the quality of care they receive, the University of Montreal researchers said.

The study authors noted that previous studies found similar changes in the brains of children who were adopted by families after being initially raised in orphanages.

The amygdala assigns emotional significance to information and events and plays a role in how we respond to potential risks, according to background information provided in a university news release.

"We do not know if the enlargement that we have observed is the result of long-term exposure to lower quality care. But we show that growing up with a depressed mother is associated with enlarged amygdala," Dr. Sonia Lupien and colleagues said in the news release.

The findings, published online Aug. 15 in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, strongly suggest "that the brain may be highly responsive to the environment during early development and confirms the importance of early intervention to help children facing adversity," Lupien said.

"Initiatives such as prenatal and infancy nurse home visits and enriched day care environments could mitigate the effects of parental care on the developing brain," she added.

-- Robert Preidt Copyright © 2011 HealthDay. All rights reserved. SOURCE: University of Montreal, news release, Aug. 15, 2011

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Moms love Bikram yoga

MOTHERHOOD is a 24/7 job. Moms are devoted to taking care of husbands, children, and even pets–and managing the household. But no matter how busy a mom’s life is, it is important that they give themselves time to relax and unwind.

For moms-on-the-go Holly Wendt, Cathy Castañeda and Kaye Garcia, regular Bikram yoga practice has become "me" time. Bikram yoga is a total body workout and a form of relaxation for busy people like moms. Bikram yoga is practiced inside a heated studio, with a temperature of approximately 40 degrees Celsius. Each class runs exactly 90 minutes and consists of a series of 26 postures and two breathing exercises.

Holly, a former elementary teacher and mom to twin nine-year-old daughters, had been looking for an activity to compliment her running. Her family moved to different parts of the world because of her husband’s work. Finding a new activity proved a bit difficult, especially when the kids were younger.

"I have always wanted to try yoga, but I didn’t have the luxury of time then. I’ve tried Pilates and a few hatha yoga poses," Holly said. "I saw a yoga studio in Houston before we moved to the country. And then I saw the newly opened studio in Alabang, so I grabbed the opportunity."

While Holly learned about Bikram yoga herself, a friend brought Kaye along to one of her classes. A successful entrepreneur, Kaye is behind the label Hot Pink Lingerie, a leading retailer of fashionable yet comfortable intimate wear. She had just given birth and wanted to attain her ideal weight. "I’ve tried Barre3 and Baby yoga with my daughter and I was curious to see if Bikram is effective so I tried it," Kaye said.

A friend also introduced full-time mom and homemaker Cathy to Bikram yoga. "I’ve already tried ashtanga and dynamic yoga forms, and took yoga classes at the gym. I wanted to see how Bikram yoga differs from other types of yoga."

"Bikram yoga is good for moms because yoga is about balance, which they need in their busy lives," said Ginger Diaz, studio director of Bikram Yoga Alabang. "Because they’re focused on taking care of the family, they tend to forget paying attention to themselves."

Cathy explains that managing a household can be as stressful as working in the corporate world. "Yes, you stay at home, but the chores are endless. Attending Bikram classes helps me relax and gives me time to think and reflect," she said.

Aside from gaining balance, moms can also improve their flexibility and strength with Bikram yoga practice. "I’ve been a runner for 25 years now, and Bikram yoga has helped me become more flexible and has made me stronger. It really compliments my running," Holly said.

Since Bikram yoga is practiced in a heated room, it can burn a lot of calories. "The heat makes the muscles more pliable, enabling practitioners to do the postures safely," Ginger said. It is estimated that a 90-minute class can burn between 500 and 1,250 calories, but the value depends on the intensity of one’s practice, and varies from person to person.

For moms who gained weight during pregnancy, Bikram yoga is one of the best ways to shed the pounds. "I was desperate to lose some weight when I started doing Bikram yoga. I had just given birth then," Kaye recalled. After attending a few classes, she found the practice beneficial.

Like any other exercise or fitness regimen, Bikram yoga is quite challenging. "There were times I felt I had hurt myself while doing a certain pose," Kaye said. "But I practice even more to overcome the discomfort and improve."

View the original article here

"Supermoms" More Likely To Be Depressed Than Realistic Moms

(CBS)  Moms, you can't do it all.

A provocative new study suggests working moms who try to be "supermoms" are more likely to be depressed than their counterparts who embrace the idea that they can't do it all.

"You can happily combine child rearing and a career, if you're willing to let some things slide," study author Katrina Leupp, a University of Washington sociology graduate student, said in a written statement.

For the study - presented at a sociology conference in Las Vegas on Saturday - researchers surveyed 1,600 married, 40-year-old women, who were a mix of stay-at-home and working mothers. The women were asked to rank a series of statements about balancing work and home life, such as "A woman who fulfills her family responsibilities doesn't have time for a job outside the home," or "A woman is happiest if she can stay at home with her children."

What did the researchers find? Stay-at-home moms were more depressed than working moms, which agrees with previous studies' findings. So working to some degree is "ultimately good for women's health," according to Leupp.

But what about those working moms with a "supermom" attitude who think they can effectively balance raising children and climbing the corporate ladder? They were more likely to become depressed than realistic moms who know they can't do it all. Leupp said these moms are more comfortable making tradeoffs, such as leaving work early to pick up kids.

"Supermoms have higher expectations for fairness, so it makes sense that they would be more frustrated with the division of household chores," Leupp said. "Women are sold a story that they can do it all, but most workplaces are still designed for employees without child-care responsibilities."

So what advice does Leupp have for working moms?

"Be gentle with yourself," she told HealthDay. "And accept that balancing work and family feels hard because it is hard, rather than feeling that guilty or unsuccessful."

View the original article here

Working moms confess about the guilt and the sweet escape

Working moms have a love-hate relationship with their jobs.

On one hand, they told us in our Mom Secrets survey, they hate spending time away from their kids, and miss them like crazy when they’re stuck at work. Walking away from a child crying "Mommy!" at day care is its own special brand of torture. On the other hand, sometimes moms secretly love the escape. After a weekend of breaking up sibling fights, changing dirty diapers and weathering toddler tantrums, even the most hectic workplace can feel like a tranquil oasis.

Let's see... whole wheat, iron-enriched, extra serving of guilt... sounds perfect for Working Mom stew!

Whether they work out of financial necessity, career ambition, the need to get out of the house or some combination of those factors, moms reported a complicated mix of emotions about their jobs. More than 26,000 moms responded to the TODAY Moms and Parenting.com survey; 74 percent said they work outside the home. Among our findings:

42 percent of moms said they’d rather get a 50 percent raise at work than spend 50 percent more time with their kids.20 percent say they judge other moms who work too much1 in 5 moms says she’d choose a more flexible career if she could have a “do-over,” while 1 in 10 says she would concentrate more on her career.Nearly one-third of moms admit to using work as an excuse to get out of child care.

Read more: What's your biggest mom secret? 26,000 moms confess in our survey

One mom wrote anonymously: “I cry at work when I'm not around my 3 year old son. But, when I get home and have time to spend with him, I get stressed out, exhausted and overwhelmed.”

 Another confessed: “I am a working mom, I want to provide the best I can for my kids.  I chose the very best day care I could find. I have a great career and am highly educated.  But, I secretly wish I would get fired so I could stay home with them.”

And one wrote, simply: “I feel guilty every single day for going to work.”

Read more: The TODAY Moms editor spills her secrets

A lot of the angst women have about working seems to stem from the notion that society EXPECTS them to feel conflicted. Plenty of women are happy at work and happy with their child care arrangements, but feel as if they have to put on a “sad face” to the world so they won’t be judged too harshly.

As one mom told us, “I pretended to be heartbroken about going back to work after my six months of maternity leave.  Really, I was ready for the break from non-stop baby duty.”

Why do working women feel judged? Because they are. Some moms confessed anonymously that they do, indeed, judge working mothers.

“I secretly cannot stand other selfish moms!! I loathe them,” one Judgy McJudgerson wrote anonymously. “Moms who would rather use formula because it's easier...moms who would work outside the home...moms who use excuses to fuel their selfishness. A mom is who you are.... you accept it wholeheartedly or don't bother!”

Read more: The mom-judging Olympics: A competition nobody meant to enter

Still, despite the judging, many moms say they refuse to feel guilty about working to provide for their families.

“I do not feel guilty that I work outside the home,” one mom wrote. “My kids are in a great day care and I love that there is an entire day planned around them and their needs. I couldn't do that if I stayed home. I love that they have their own lives and friends and stories to share at the end of the day.”

Much is made of the divide between stay-at-home and work-outside-the-home moms. But in our survey, we found that moms have a lot more in common than they have separating them, no matter what their work situation. Unfortunately, one thing they have in common is a tendency to wonder if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. While some moms are perfectly content, some SAHMs secretly long for a job while some WOHMs wish they could stay home with the kids.

Read more: ‘The bees are coming!’ Moms confess their funniest fibs

One thing that’s clear: Moms who work outside the home appreciate how hard it is to stay at home. Instead of sniping at one another, some moms in our survey offered up words of respect. One mom said:

“I love my 1-year-old twins, but I am glad I am not a stay at home mom.  When Monday comes around I look forward to going to work just to get a break, relax and focus on something other than feeding/napping schedule and keeping them entertained and happy.  Stay at home moms work HARD and deserve more credit than they get.”

So true – and couldn’t that be said of every mom?

Sharing time: Moms who've both worked and stayed home -- please share with us the happiest and hardest parts of each. 

"Like" TODAY Moms on Facebook, and follow us @TodayMoms

View the original article here

Working moms' tense relationship with nannies

Working moms and nannies can have a fragile relationship, fraught with tension and a lack of respect.The mom/nanny dynamic can be emotionally and morally charged Working moms feel guilty for leaving their kids and worry how nannies handle the homeThe relationship can suffer from inconsistent communication or a lack of respectEditor's note: Wendy Sachs is a former award-winning TV producer and author of "How She Really Does It: Secrets of Successful Stay-at-Work Moms." She's also the executive editor of Care.com, a website for finding nannies, baby sitters, pet sitters, special needs care and senior care.

(CNN) -- It all started with a bowl of spaghetti.

The cold, congealed noodles had sat neglected in the back of the fridge for days.

The working mother of three despised leftovers lurking behind the milk. She had repeatedly reminded her nanny, who had worked for the family for years, to keep the fridge clean.

Annoyed at finding the half-eaten spaghetti on a Friday, she yanked out the bowl and left it in the sink for the nanny to clean. The weekend went by, and the bowl sat defiantly in the otherwise empty sink.

The nanny had washed all the dishes, except for the one covered in marinara, which now had the consistency of dried Play-Doh.

By Monday evening, the mother could stand it no longer and told the nanny that if she didn't clean the bowl, she would lose her job. The nanny stated flatly, "Where I come from, we scrape off our own dishes."

This scene played out recently in a Connecticut suburb in a home where the mom is always waxing poetic about her fabulous nanny -- one who makes her life possible. Both names have been withheld to protect their privacy.

The nanny survived the spaghetti dispute, but she was eventually fired.

The mom/nanny dynamic may be one of the most emotionally and morally charged relationship a woman will ever have.

It is often fragile and fraught with unresolved issues.

And for working moms, the relationship can be even more delicate. Loaded with guilt for leaving their kids, and stressed out that things aren't being done their way, the moms dance a nanny tango that is rarely graceful.

I know -- I've been there.

In nine years, I've had 10 nannies. I go through nannies the way some women go through men. And my nanny dramas are legendary. From predator mom-on-the-playground nanny-poaching to up-and-leaving without even a note, I've lost child care.

Stealing another woman's nanny is like sleeping with her husband -- maybe even worse. Robbing a working mother of good child care could more quickly destroy the fabric of a family than a one-night stand. I'd consider letting my husband have a fling faster than I would want to lose a good nanny to another family.

So after having a spectacular run of bad luck with keeping long-term child care, I started to throw in job perks, including round-trip plane tickets back home for Christmas, a free gym membership and even tutoring.

With an athletic, soccer-playing, blond college girl from Utah, I paid for various, pricey diets -- from the all-organic cleansing to Weight Watchers. I even rewrote all of her English papers, just so she would pass her course.

Then there was the curvy Colombian who suddenly decided to take a job at a car repair shop three months after starting with us.

Then came the Rastafarian, vegan yogi with dreads down to her butt who had me running to Whole Foods for soy milk the first night she arrived so she could drink her organic tea in the morning. She never finished the milk because she failed to return after her first week, leaving a closet full of clothes behind.

Then there was the Czech nanny who told me she didn't like my children. After four days in my house, I deposited her in another town with garbage bags full of her clothes.

Like any relationship, the mom/nanny one can suffer most by inconsistent communication, lack of respect or unfair expectations.

But the intimacy of having someone in your house -- sometimes even living in your house -- who not only cares for your children but also sees the piles of bills on your kitchen table, and all your dirty laundry, can blur the boundary between employer and employee. And it makes sense. When you are trusting nannies to help raise your children, how can you not get involved in their lives, too?

However, here's the rub: We want to know our nannies, but we don't want to know too much. While we may love them like family, too much information can make us feel squeamish and guilty.

The caste system of caregiving in our country also makes many of us uncomfortable.

Most moms employ women who are less educated and affluent than they are. But changing diapers and playing with blocks are no longer enough. With half of all mothers today working, we are demanding more from our nannies than we did decades ago. We're not looking for baby sitters, but instead we want partners in caregiving.

Most moms don't try to take advantage of their nannies by underpaying, overworking or abusing the relationship. The moms I know have done everything from lending money to securing green cards, to teaching their nannies to drive and even representing them in court.

Because so many moms are completely dependent on their child care so that they can keep their own jobs, they don't want to nitpick or create any tension. They would forgo a tidy kitchen and even accept a crusty bowl of spaghetti once in a while, if they know their kids are happy, engaged and loved.

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Moms Club Provides Fun, Free Babysitters

EDEN PRAIRIE, Minn. - Moms who stay at home or who have recently moved would no doubt leap at the chance to have kid-friendly activities planned out and free babysitters, as well as a social outlet. Moms Clubs can provide all of the above.

The groups let women laugh, love -- and maybe even loathe -- the ups and downs of motherhood while providing support, information and fun activities -- like the Animal Show at Centennial Lakes Park in Edina.

Hetal Agrawall says she isn’t sure how she would’ve survived without the club after moving to the Twin Cities from Chicago with a baby and another one on the way.

“We had nobody here. No friends, no relatives,” she explained.

When Agrawall joined an Eden Prairie chapter of Moms Club, the first-time mother made her first friends in the area.

“I didn’t feel alone anymore,” she said.

Even veteran mothers say they appreciate the opportunities Moms Club provides, like planned activities for kids once or twice a week, community service events and monthly nights out just for moms.

Club members also share stories and tips on how to be the best mother one can be, with hot topics including child health, how to discipline and potty training tips. The club even has a financial incentive because instead of spending cash on a babysitter, members formed a babysitting co-op where they take turns watching one another’s children.

View the original article here

Kids of Unhealthy, Disadvantaged Moms More Likely to Be Sickly

SUNDAY, Aug. 21 (HealthDay News) --The children of disadvantaged, unhealthy mothers in the United States have many more health problems than children of disadvantaged mothers who are relatively healthy, says a new study.

Specifically, children of disadvantaged, unhealthy mothers are more than five times as likely to have fair or poor overall health. They are also more likely to score lower on surveys of well-being, have a significantly greater risk of developing asthma and/or a learning disability and are more likely to make emergency department visits.

Genetics are not the only cause of these differences, said the researchers, who analyzed data from the 2007 and 2008 National Health Interview Surveys and were slated to present their findings Sunday at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association (ASA) in Las Vegas.

"Mothers who experience frequent or serious health problems may have a harder time monitoring their children or performing day-to-day caretaking tasks, including taking their children to regular medical checkups," co-author Jessica Halliday Hardie, of Pennsylvania State University's Population Research Institute, said in an ASA news release.

"Maternal health problems can also place emotional and material burdens on children and heighten their stress and anxiety," she added. "Finally, to care for herself, an unhealthy mother may have to use financial resources that could otherwise benefit her children."

For this study, being disadvantaged was determined by a combination of family income, race/ethnicity, mother's level of education and family structure.

"Skeptics may jump to the conclusion that genetics alone are responsible for the health disparities among these groups," Hardie said. "But, we assess indicators of well-being that are at least partly environmentally conditioned, which suggests that group differences are not completely due to genetics."

Since this study was presented at a medical meeting, its findings should be considered preliminary until published in a peer-reviewed journal.

-- Robert Preidt Copyright © 2011 HealthDay. All rights reserved. SOURCE: American Sociological Association, news release, Aug. 21, 2011

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