One of the first questions I ask new parents is: How is your baby sleeping?
Having had two challenging sleepers, I?m secretly hoping they?ll admit they?re part of the up-all-night club. I have to stifle a groan if they say their infant slept through the night at any point before the child was 6 months old.
I?m still up at least once a night with my second son who?s getting ready to turn 1 year old next month, and my 2-year-old is beginning to protest when we say it?s time for ?night-night.? Sleep is a frustrating state at my house.
My friend, who also has a tough sleeper, recently brought over her iPad and showed me a hilarious, and incredibly irreverent, adult storybook about sleepless children and narrated by an animated Samuel L. Jackson. Titled ?Go the F**k to Sleep,? the beautifully illustrated tale tells of animals and all the other kids from day care going to rest for the night, and scolding with mouth-puckering curses a child who wants another story, a stuffed bear, to go to the bathroom and a drink of water ? anything not to go to sleep.
I laughed wildly at the contrast of storybook illustrations and grown-up language, and felt a weight lifted that other parents dealing with restless kids also yearn to dole out a tongue-lashing when battling for bed.
So what is the best way to put children to bed without protest and tricks, and without raising mom?s and dad?s ire?
Parenting books and articles give a wide variety of advice, but one of the things they seem to agree on is that a bedtime routine is part of the recipe for success. Whether it?s a warm bath, brushing teeth and a story, or a special goodnight song and tucking in, experts say it?s worth the extra time to signal to your child that it?s time to sleep.
According to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., children balk at going to sleep because they don?t want to miss out on anything.
Their recommendation to ease the transition is to keep things quiet for about an hour before bedtime. That means putting away noisy games and toys and turning off the TV, computer and video games. They suggest dimming the lights and limiting the family to quiet activities including puzzles and books.
Other experts say you can also give your child ?warnings? to signal that it?s time to go to bed. Remind them at intervals that bedtime is approaching so that it?s not such a shock when you take them away from books or toys and put them in their bedroom. The warnings can be paired with something enjoyable such as changing into comfy pajamas or having a nighttime snack.
Every child is different. Some have challenging sleep patterns or simply take extra attention to feel secure at bedtime. Even the experts at Mayo note that getting kids quietly to bed and sleeping through the night is a worthy goal, but not a measure of parenting skills. I?ll definitely take that expert advice to heart.
And, while I won?t likely purchase a copy of Adam Mansbach?s storybook for exhausted parents, when I?m exasperated with bedtime I will find myself snickering every time I think of it.
