I don’t even know how to start this post. Nothing seems right, and the words to capture exactly what I’m feeling escape me.
I’m deeply troubled because while I’m horrified there’s been another school shooting, this time in Chardon, Ohio, I’m not surprised. In these days and times, school shootings are a sad reality. I also don’t know what it means that I feel an equal amount of sympathy for the suspect as I do the victims.
It was easy to join the witch hunt for the Columbine school shooters; they had been part of a scary clique, wore scary clothes and seemed almost gleeful during the shooting that claimed the lives of 13 victims. I have learned not to judge a book by it’s cover, but I joined the nation of folks that judged them.
There have been other school shootings. A 6-year-old who claimed, “I don’t like you," before pulling the trigger killed elementary school student Kayla Rolland. There have been middle school shootings, and no one could forget the Virginia Tech murders.
But this recent incident really makes me wonder are we doing enough to take care of the emotional well-being of our children? What conversations are we having with them about how they treat others?
My high-schooler told me about an incident of bullying that happened at her school, and I was heartbroken for this child I do not know. I asked her what she said to the child. Did she tell him she was sorry for what happened, try to console him in any way? (Nothing, no and nothing.)
Some accounts paint the suspect in the Ohio school shootings as a troubled youngster who had a hard time with his parents and was a loner who was bullied. Others say he received good grades and was a “good kid.” The school he attended describes itself as a place for "at risk" students who are "reluctant learners."
Pupils typically struggle with problems including "substance abuse/chemical dependency, anger issues, mental health issues, truancy, delinquency, difficulties with attention/organization and academic deficiencies.”
So in other words, a group of people that are written off all the time.
No one comes into this world as “troubled.” Children are born with illnesses and developmental delays but not “troubled.” We as parents, family members, neighbors, etc., can have more meaningful conversations with our children about what it means to be bullied and how to look out for one another.
Being bullied doesn’t give one the right to turn violent and take lives, but we can use this moment to begin a dialogue with children we know about bullying and its sometimes fatal consequences.
