Mommy Warriors Best and Worst Gifts Ever!

Between the two of us, Alyssa and I have given so many gifts to our collective 7 kids.  Over the years some have been huge hits, for various reasons, and some have been complete DUDS!  And nowadays, every retailer is trying to pitch you the “Hot Toys” of the year.  But who is deciding what your kids are going to like?  Often what they tell you is “hot” is really what they are deciding they want to push.  Here is what in our experience have been the best and the worst gifts we’ve given our kids:

Gaming console – These days technology is the new status symbol.  When kids return to school in January the first item they usually list when asked what they got for Christmas is some sort of electronic.  The benefit of the console is that it has layers of use because of the games you can buy.  This year, the Playstation 4 and the Xbox One are in high demand.  We suggest making it a “family gift” along with specific games geared toward each individual kid.  The challenge with this will be setting the limits on the amount of time the kids can play.  For a good non-violent strategy game, we recommend Portal.

Sports equipment – Basketball hoops, skateboards, bikes, etc.  Kids have energy AND they need to exercise.  Anything that encourages them to get outside and move their bodies is good for everyone.

Art supplies – Every house with kids needs a stock of art supplies, whether for enjoyment or for that last minute school project.  The holidays are a great time to stock up.  If you have a stock of poster boards, construction paper, pens, paint, stencils, crayons, stickers, etc., you’re set!  And no more 8pm announcement from your middle schooler that you have to take him to Michael’s for a project due the next day!

Board and card games – Not only can these be educational, but they’re a great way for the family to spend time together, which the kids love.  The key is to find the ones that kids really like.  The favorites in the Perry house are Life, Slamwich, Monopoly, Sorry, Checkers, Blockus, Twister, Uno, Guess Who, and Battleship, most of which have been around for a long time.  In the Banko household some of the favorites are Apples to Apples, Dicecapades, Pictionary, Phase 10, Rummikub and any type of card game. Some things are just timeless.

Arcade games – If you have the space, a great “family gift” is a table top arcade game like ping pong, air hockey or foosball.  Kids can play these for many years and the whole family can participate.

Build and create – Kids of all ages love to build and put things together. In my house, it was all about Legos, we had so many different Lego sets, I lost count but even today, they still pull them out and create. Erector sets, Mega Blocks, Lite Brite, etc.

Start a collection – My youngest loves coins, so one year we started him off with a coin collection set.  He not only loved going thru what he received, but it turned into an on-going activity that he still does.   It also has taught him how things can go up in value as they are collected and saved.

Anything Nerf – bows, guns, blasters, and balls. As long as Nerf is in the name any boy will be happy.  But just so you don’t think we’re encouraging stereotypes, my daughter loves them, too!  It’s fun to get each kid the same one and let them set up a battle.  It’s safe, engages kids of all ages and it can be played indoor or out, which is great during the winter months!

Science kits – Though these are often used up quickly, we have never bought a science / activity kit that didn’t get used.  From a butterfly kit, to growing sea monkeys, to volcano sets and a glow in the dark lab set, kids love hands on activities that allow them to manipulate, change, grown and create things.

Craft sets – The same can be said for craft sets as for science kits.  This year, the big craze are the Rainbow Bands sets for making bracelets out of rubber bands.  But weaving kits, paint-your-own-mug, jewelry making, etc., these are all popular, especially with the girls, and they get used.

Cardboard boxes – That’s right!  After all these years, my kids, even my 15 year old, will still ask if they can keep the box.  So this year, why not just give them one?  One great big giant box!  I’ll bet it is one of their favorite things they receive.

I loved it as a kid, so they will, too!  WRONG!  The times have changed.  Just because it was popular when you were 8 doesn’t mean your 8 year old will like it.  All of the “retro” wooden toys that I tried out on my kids failed miserably.  They’re too used to lights, bells, whistles, electronics.  I know it’s nostalgic, but get over it!  Your kids don’t care.

Overly educational – We as parents dream of our kids sitting for hours playing educational games, but I can tell you most of those I have bought over the years have done nothing but collected dust.  All of those word games I used to buy when my kids were in kindergarden?  Maybe they played them once, but they  never asked to play them again.  If you want to try one on for size, great, but you might start by seeing what educational games they like to play at school before investing your whole holiday budget in them.

Stuffed animals – Maybe I sound like a curmudgeon, but my daughter has a huge pile of stuffed animals that just sit in a pile in her room.  There is no value what-so-ever to them.  They don’t get her to get up and be active.  They don’t teach her anything.  They just sit there, in a pile, looking at me while I tidy her room.  Now I’m not suggesting you don’t get them, EVER.  But your kid doesn’t need 500 of them!  Here is all my daughter really needed…one main snuggly, one good teddybear, and one Pillow Pet.  That’s it!  And that Build-a-Bear we get every year when we go to Disneyland?  A complete waste of $100!  I haven’t had the nerve to go near an American Girl store.  Those places should be outlawed.

Clothes – First of all, my kids are picky when it comes to clothes.  Half the time I end up having to return what I buy them because it either doesn’t fit or they hate it.  It becomes the most time consuming of all items.  Better to let them go thru a catalogue and pick out what they like and then buy so that it is a little bit of a surprise.  I will admit, I buy clothes every year to put under the tree, but I do so knowing that I’ll be taking half of them back.  I’ve gotten better about what to buy, though.  This year, I got everyone a new pair of Vans.  I know those will be a hit, so long as I have their sizes right.

Books – Unless it is a book from a series that you know they love, you are always taking a risk with books.  I have found that my kids love the process of selecting the book more than actually reading it.  So if I’ve taken that part away from them, they are not engage or motivated to read the book at all.  The one exception is getting the next volume of Diary of a Whimpy Kid for my daughter who has read every one and loves them, or a bunch of the Naruto comic books, which my son is addicted to.

Action figures – How boring, they just stand there and do nothing. I can’t tell you how many I’ve bought over the years and my kids just threw them in the pile with all the other action figures until it was time for a garage sale.

It’s Hot This Year!  Guess who makes the list of what’s hot?  The retailers and toy companies!  I have one word, FURBY!  We bought one years ago for our daughter when they were first hot, and it just sat there.  Now they’re hot again.  Like they’re hoping all of us who bought them last time they were hot have forgotten what a complete waste of money it was!   I want their marketing team for our blog!

In demand – The toys that you just had to have because everyone else is getting it. No one really cared about what the darn things did but it was all about the the adventure of trying to find them. Let’s see which ones I can remember, there was Teddy Ruxpin, Cabbage Patch Dolls, Holiday Barbies, Zhu Zhu Pets and those damn Beanie Babies.

Here are some other items on our lists this year… Go-Pro Camera, in-line skates with helmet and pads, speakers for their mp3 players, headphones, puzzles, Rubik’s cubes (of all sorts), karaoke machine, locking personal journal, airsoft guns and supplies (for the older kids), underwater camera, NFL Jerseys, Oakley sunglasses, skateboards.

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My Mommy Mantra: What Were You Thinking?

By Blythe Newsome on April 8, 2013

Lately I feel as if not a single day goes by that I don’t say to at least one of my children, “What were you thinking?” I swear it feels as if it is my mantra - in a one week period I found myself saying it at least once to each of my children.

Example 1: Thirty minutes before bedtime, just as I am starting to relax and pat myself on the back for another day when everyone got where they needed to be, Finn remembers something.

“Mom, I have to do a diorama and take it to school tomorrow. I need a shoe box and we have to show how black bears hibernate.”

My response to him as I dug into closets and drawers looking for an empty shoe box and some sort of are supplies that aren’t dried out, I found myself saying, “Finn, what were you thinking, waiting until the last minute to do this?”

Example 2: While riding in the passenger seat with my 16-year-old daughter who is learning to drive, I noticed that the rearview mirror was turned at an angle so she could look at her face. When I asked her why it was turned that way, she said, “So I can see myself and make sure I look okay.”

My response to my soon-to-be driver was, “Seriously? It is called a rearview mirror so you can see objects behind you. It is NOT for looking at you. What were you thinking, turning it so you could look at yourself?”

Example 3: My oldest daughter is getting ready for her senior prom. While I am so excited for her and am treasuring every moment of her senior year, I think she got carried away with how much I was enjoying it. She was doing some prom shopping and found the perfect dress. I said, “Great! Let me see it on you and then let’s go ahead and buy it.” It was beautiful and elegant but it was $378.00.

My response when I saw the price tag was, “$378 for a dress you are going to wear for one night, you must be joking. What on earth are you thinking, looking at a dress that cost that much?”

Example 4: My son is a basketball player and plays in a summer travel league. The night before his big tournament and just moments after he returned home from spending some time with his dad, he tells me he needs new basketball shoes by tomorrow because his are too small.

I quickly became a frustrated mom and said, “You have been practicing with the team for three weeks and you just now realize they don’t fit? Why couldn’t you have thought of this while you were with your dad and had him get you a pair? Seriously baby, what were you thinking?”

Example 5: My daughter is studying different countries and cultures in school. Each child was assigned a country and asked to bring a dish from that country. My daughter’s country was Greece. Unfortunately she didn’t remember to tell me until 5:30 in the morning on the day of the “potluck." Luckily I did some quick thinking and heated up some turkey meatball that I had in the freezer, mixed up some sour cream with a little bit of fresh dill and sent it to told her it was a Greek dish of “Lamb meat balls with a Greek dipping sauce."

But I couldn’t let it go without saying at least once, “What were you thinking, waiting this long to tell me?”

Example 6: I pull up from work to see the children outside playing together. It warmed my heart and made me smile to see them having so much fun together. That was until I noticed that one of my girls was riding her bike over a very rough and bumpy part of the yard with one arm on the handle bars and the other tucked into her shirt. If she fell, there would be no way she could catch herself.

I got out of the car and said, “Mo, what one earth are you doing? You are going to get hurt doing that. I don’t understand what you are thinking?”

Being my child who really puts thought into everything she does, she said, “Mom, I am learning to ride a bike with one arm so if a shark bites off my arm, I will still be able to do all the things I enjoy.”

Okay, I am glad that I have a child that wants to be prepared for the unexpected. But a shark? This is my child who hates the ocean and never goes into it above her knees. Unless there is such a thing as a “Landshark”, I think it is safe for her to focus on keeping both hands on the handlebars.

After a week of repeating my new mantra of “What were you thinking” every single day, I was frustrated. “Will they ever learn?” I thought as I drove home from work the next evening. I kicked off my high heels as I made the long drive home and tried to take some deep breaths and think positive thoughts that perhaps tonight I would not have to say those words to anyone.

I hopped out of my car as soon as I pulled into the driveway, noting that I had exactly 10 minutes to load everyone up and get to Finn’s first baseball game. I raced in the door shouting orders to everyone. In no time we were all out the door with cleats, gloves and hats in hand. At the last minute we decided to take a different car so we loaded up, I counted heads, told Finn to start putting his shoes on so he could hop out of the car as soon as we got there and smiled thinking I had done all of that in less than 9 minutes.

As soon as we got to the game, the kids piled out of the car. I took a moment to take a deep breath before I got out of the car to head to say hello to all of the parents who were there for the game. After 13 years of having children play baseball, these games are like a social hour to catch up with half of Tallahassee.

I looked in the mirror (yes, the rearview mirror, but I was parked and the minute I was done I put it right back in the correct position.) and reapplied and little lipstick and was ready to step out of the car. That was when I realized that I had forgotten my shoes. I was stunned. How could I forget my shoes? I really am losing it. I tiptoed out of the car and thought if I could just get to the bleachers without anyone noticing I could tuck my feet under the bench and keep them hidden. It took all of two seconds before Moira asked me where were my shoes were and happily shared the news with all of her siblings. I didn’t see the humor that they saw in the moment. Suddenly I got a brilliant idea. I could borrow my daughter’s shoes because we are the same size. Certainly she won’t mind going barefoot.

I looked at Moira and asked her if I could please borrow her shoes.

She thought for a moment and said, “Mom, you tell us all the time before we walk out to the door to grab our shoes. I do not know what you were thinking.”

I heard giggling that sounds in stereo because I had kids on all sides of me.

The words I had found myself using on every single one of my children were now coming back to haunt me. I decided to offer her $1 if I could wear her shoes. Being a smart business woman, she upped the ante to $5. I got her down to $2. Finally, I was able to stand amongst the parents at the first baseball game of the year wearing a pair of shoes and acting like a mother who had it all together.

I have yet to say “What were you thinking?" to any of the children since that moment. I realize that they are young and those childlike impulses are still going to override the rational thoughts I want them to have to show me they are responsible. But who am I kidding? Even as an adult I am going to have those moments when the craziness of life will override my own basic rational thoughts leaving me asking myself “What was I thinking?”

In the blink of an eye I went from the suburban mom who had it all to a single mom of six facing divorce, death, and moving. So what do you do when life throws you so many curves? You pick yourself up and find out you are stronger than you ever imagined.

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