My husband and I woke up Sunday morning, after an evening of cooking and entertaining sixteen people and decided we wanted to go out for breakfast with the kids. I rolled out of bed and walked down the hall to the playroom where they were all hanging out playing video games.
“Kids, Dad and I are taking you guys to breakfast. Can you all get dressed, make your beds, brush your teeth. We’ll leave as soon as you’re ready.”
But as appealing as it sounded to my husband and me, it was the antithesis of appealing to the kids.
“I don’t want to go!”
“We want to stay home!”
“I’m not going. You can’t make me!”
“I’ll only go if we go to Starbucks!
“It’s Sunday! We want to relax!”
So with as sweet and patient of a voice as I could muster I simply replied, “I’m sorry, but we’re still going, so please get ready.”
As you can imagine, three kids means three personalities. Little Mr. Follow the Rules was downstairs first after just 2 minutes. The Oldest was down second after about 15 minutes of arguing with us as to why he shouldn’t have to go and how he’s old enough to stay home alone. And The Tester, our daughter who has never met a rule she didn’t hate, whined and complained for 30 minutes until her consequences added up to the point that she felt she had no choice.
When everyone was downstairs I pulled a trick that I’ve seen a middle school principal use when trying to regain the attention of a room of distracted 12 year olds. With a calm and happy voice I SLAMMED a hard plastic cup on the counter. The loud noise woke everyone up, got their attention, and had them staring at me with wide eyes.
“Let me explain something to the three of you. Your dad and I do a TREMENDOUS amount for you. More than you even know. In fact, you won’t even have a clue how much we do for you until you are a parent. So when we say we’re going out for breakfast or running errands or visiting friends, you do not argue with us. Am I clear?”
I end way too many sentences with “am I clear” as if some how that is really a question with a variety of responses. The only response is “yes” whether or not I’ve really been clear and whether or not I’ve really been listened to. The kids all replied, “Yes.”
Regardless of their yeses, they moaned and groaned all the way to the restaurant. I just sat in the front seat with a smile on my face. You see, I knew something that they didn’t know. I knew that once they put their video game remotes down, got out of the house, and sat down at the restaurant that they’d suddenly enjoy themselves. And they did. We had a great breakfast. We talked, joked, told stories and spent good family time together, something that we don’t do often enough. We bonded. And the rest of the day the kids were all great. They felt loved and connected.
So even though they sometimes complain when it’s time for family-time, it’s up to us parents to remember how important it is and how it solidifies the family relationships, even if the kids seem like they could care less.
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